This time next week, I will be eating sugar bread, firm tofu, black beans, cheese and swigging back bourbon. Less than one week left in my Whole30 challenge. I do feel great now that I’m in the “tiger blood” phase of the challenge – feeling energetic and strong, mentally sharp, sleeping well, etc.
I’ll give you the full rundown when it’s all said and done but for now let’s briefly chat about this Whole30 compliant meal. This lemon roasted salmon and Brussels sprouts with prosciutto chips only takes one sheet pan and a frying pan. Crisp up thinly sliced at prosciutto on the same pan as foil-wrapped salmon. As your salmon and prosciutto are becoming their best selves, fry up halved Brussels sprouts with a splash of oil and sprinkle of salt until nicely golden brown.
The uniting element between the side and the main is a pop of freshness from lemon juice and freshly grated zest. The final product is a perfectly flaky salmon and toothsome Brussels sprouts. The prosciutto chips add a nice crunchy dimension.
Okay, you’re sold on it? Great. Make it, eat it, rate it below.
Here’s what I really want to talk about: the pressing need to add more dimensions to the “triad of sociopathy”. You’ve probably heard of it – it’s the theory that three behaviours in childhood are a good predictor of homicidal behaviour in adulthood. The three elements of the triad are:
- cruelty to animals,
- obsession with fire-setting, and;
- persistent bed-wetting past a certain age.
This theory has been subject to some criticism for a number of different reasons but my primary concern is that there were a lot of dimensions left off the list.
Here are some other clear indicators of sociopathy that I think should be added to the DSM:
- bites into a cheese string – this person is the commanding general in the War on Joy. A cheese string is one of the few culinary experiences that actually invites you to play with your food. Anyone who is prepared to eschew that privilege out of hand and chomp right through that stringy goodness is certifiable and most likely dangerous.
- sends read receipts – what are you doing? why are you putting your intention to ghost on full display? Clearly lacking in empathy.
- people with long hair who workout with their hair down – anyone who can tolerate the feeling of a hair scarf while running a marathon or risk gagging on their own locks while doing burpees is clearly incapable of feeling pain.
- sleeps with socks on – similar to above, why are you trapping your toes in a sweat trap? YOU’RE UNDER COVERS! Imagine sleeping beside someone and having your leg grazed by a woollen foot. *GAGS*
- invests in AirPods and then buys a connector to tether them together – this person pays a premium for innovation (independent earbuds) and then SPITS in the face of technological advancement by CONNECTING them and being burdened by tangles, having them ripped out of your ears by doorhandles or a stiff breeze – literally all the problems the innovation solved. Also, this person obviously lost A LOT of mittens as a child, cannot be trusted.
- knows how to fold a fitted sheet – this person is cold and calculated. If they have enough time to figure out how to fold a fitted sheet they have enough time to plot the perfect murder, or ten.
- puts ice cubes in their wine – no explanation needed. Serial killer.
Have I missed anything? Chime in on the comments below with other suspect behaviours that need to be added
Lemon Roasted Salmon and Brussels Sprouts with Prosciutto Chips
- Lemon Roasted Salmon
- 1½ lb boneless salmon fillet skin on or off, to your liking
- 10 sprigs fresh thyme
- 2 lemons
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 lb Brussels sprouts
- 3 oz thinly sliced prosciutto
- 3 tbsp olive oil
- 2 tsp lemon zest
- 2 tbsp lemon juice
- Kosher salt
Preheat your oven to 375° F and line a large baking sheet with foil. Place a second piece of foil on top to use to wrap the salmon. Lightly drizzle the top piece of foil with 1 tbsp olive oil and use a paper towel to grease the foil (just where salmon will rest) and mop up excess.
Remove the salmon from the fridge and let stand at room temperature for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, place 5 thyme sprigs lengthwise in the foil. Thinly slice one lemon and place half of the slices on top of the thyme. Place salmon (skin-side down if using skin-on salmon) on top of lemon slices. Brush the top of the salmon with remaining olive oil.
Zest remaining lemon and sprinkle zest over top of the salmon. Juice the zested lemon on top of the salmon. Top with remaining thyme sprigs and fold over the foil to ensure salmon is completely enclosed.
Wrap the salmon with the foil, using extra to cover the top as needed. Beside the salmon foil packet, lay out the slices of prosciutto on the remainder of the foil lined baking sheet in a single layer. Bake in the middle of the preheated oven for about 12 minutes – remove from the oven and transfer prosciutto chips to a paper-towel lined plate. Return salmon to oven and back for another 6 to 12 minutes or until just cooked through (exact cook time with depend on thickness*)
While the salmon and prosciutto chips are baking, cut the Brussels sprouts in half lengthwise through the stem. Make a V-shaped incision at the base of each sprout half. Remove and discard any bruised outer leaves.
Heat 1 tbsp oil in a large skillet over medium high-heat. Once the pan is super-hot place half of the Brussels sprouts in the pan, cut side down. Reduce the heat to medium and cook until the bottoms are deeply golden, about 3 minutes. Flip the sprouts, sprinkle with a pinch of salt and cook on the other side for another 3-4 minutes. Transfer sprouts to a large bowl and repeat with remaining oil and sprouts.
Crumble the prosciutto chips into small pieces and add to the bowl with Brussels sprouts. Add the lemon zest and juice, toss to combine. Season with salt to taste. Serve immediately.
Store leftovers in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to 3-4 days.