So, technically, this is a Whole30 recipe but you can easily amend it with some cheesy goodness if you’re looking for a little more decadence in your life.
Personally, as we approach the one-year anniversary of the first pandemic lockdown, I’m past decadence and I’m just looking for the will to live – which I’ve often found in the shape of a thick slab of mozzarella. Or a thick slab of a man. Less of the latter these days, unfortunately.
There have been a number of articles about the importance of physical touch and sex for mental health as we singletons soldier on in isolation. What even is affection? I find myself giving the concrete pillars in my condo tender caresses and casting flirtatious glances at my new media console like it’s the Duke of Hastings in furniture form.
If you don’t know who the Duke of Hastings is, get your shit together and watch Bridgerton on Netflix – it’s the closest I’ve come to bodice-ripping passion in over a year.
I’m sure my will to live will be more fully restored – outside of binge-eating cheese – when we can all return to making out with complete strangers at bars. There will likely be a number of approaches to the post-vaccine freedoms, some folks will tread lightly – slowly returning to their daily activities, others, like me, will flock to the nearest dancehall to bathe in other people’s sweat and hot, unmasked breath.
In the meantime, I’ll have to keep myself company with my pillars, my console, and my cauliflower. I will say, when I posted a snapshot of this dish on my Instagram stories, there were some STRONG opinions. Such as, “Ew” from frequent blog reader Elaine. I see you Elaine.
Others felt, “You RUINED IT with the arugula.” While some (read: more enlightened) viewers said, “YUM! Can’t wait to get the recipe.”
And you know what friends? Just because you see it on the blog or in my feed, does not mean you have to put it in your mouth. When it comes to putting things in your mouth, consent is ALWAYS the first ingredient.
So, make this cauliflower pizza with basil pesto and potatoes, or don’t. Fully commit to the hermit life post-vaccine or rush forth into the universe and stick your tongue down someone’s throat (consensually, of course), or don’t. Do what feels right.
For what it’s worth, this pizza may be dairy and gluten free but it’s overflowing with flavour and it’s goddamn delicious.
Remove from oven and allow pizza to cool slightly. Then, top with bacon and baby arugula.
Cauliflower Crust recipe adapted from Gartland, Julia. “Green Cauliflower Pizza with Heirloom Tomatoes, Prosciutto & Pesto.” Sassy Kitchen. October 2014.